the only thing that really matters

the only thing that really matters Psychiatrist George Vaillant is the analyst of the Grant study that followed a cohort of well-adjusted Harvard sophomores for over 70 years.  The study examined a somewhat seemingly bizarre array of physical, psychological, and social factors to try to determine what leads to a…

Continue reading

letting go

To move forward into something new, we usually have to let go of something old. This can be painful. Many times what we have to let go of is not ‘stuff’. We have to let go of ‘us’. Specifically, we have to let go of roles that are parts of…

Continue reading

the downward spiral of assumptions

challenge assumptions

The other day, I drove home pondering about what I wanted to eat that night. I was off work early as was the husband and so I assumed that we would head out for dinner. I had briefly mentioned going out before I left for work that morning. So I…

Continue reading

permission to experiment

permission to experiment

We identify who we are by testing reality. – Herminia Ibarra While written for people who looking to change their career trajectory, the book “Working Identity; Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career” by Herminia Ibarra is a great read for those interested in changing any part of their life. In…

Continue reading

Both And

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Ever notice we seem to live in an ‘either or’ society? Been in any ‘good’ arguments recently? You know the ones. Some are mild – milk or dark chocolate? But then there are the topics that can change the lives of populations such as politics, government, military, ethnic differences, and…

Continue reading

the art of describing

walked in your shoes

This movie is boring. He’s driving like a jerk. My colleague is lazy. These are all versions of judgment statements. I’ve assessed the situation, made assumptions about what you or others are thinking, come to a conclusion, and perhaps even stated it as fact. The art of describing is the…

Continue reading

And

change your words

I’ve become quite interested in this 3-letter word recently. It seems to have an innate ability to shift conversations and thought processes. How many times have you heard That’s a great idea but …… You’re doing a good job but …. We’d love to do it but ….. Kind of…

Continue reading

the paradox of choice

choices less is more

Choice – the the opportunity or power to choose between two or more possibilities. Choice is powerful. It opens up new paths and horizons. But paradoxically, increasing either the number of options to choose from or the frequency of making choices can be detrimental. Too many options can lead us…

Continue reading

pay yourself first!

Invest in yourself

Budget and retirement advice often contains the phrase ‘pay yourself first’ as a reminder to set aside for emergency savings and retirement funds. However, the same phrase is great reminder of what people who thrive tend to do on a regular basis with their time and energy. They pay themselves…

Continue reading

the trouble with time

The trouble is that you think you have time

the trouble with time For me, it has been a season of reminders that life is short.  Recently I have found my attention drawn to a Zen saying that lives on my wall. “The trouble is that you think you have time.” We think that we have time. So today…

Continue reading