As I was driving the other day, I was internally venting my frustration over a person who could not or would not recognize that one of their behaviors was not only getting in the way of their own success and growth, it also had a very negative impact on others around them. And yes, this individual acknowledges having received feedback from multiple people regarding this but either doesn’t feel it is ‘accurate’ or doesn’t see it as being as important as others make it out to be.
A blind spot. A habit, behavior, or way of thinking that negatively impacts our ability to interact with others. A blind spot is something that others can see all too well – and we either don’t see it or we’re variably oblivious to the impact.
So, as I was driving, some thoughts intersected through my venting.
- What is my blind spot? (or, more likely, spots ….) What is it that I do that gets in my way?
- What negative impact am I having on others that I wish I wasn’t?
- What have people been subtly trying to tell me that I’ve been blowing off?
Stuff I don’t want to hear.
Stuff I need to hear.
- What haven’t I heard from you that I need to?
- Do you see a place where I’m probably not having the impact I want?
- How you see me? / How do show up to you?
- What are the strengths you see in me? What are some things I should work on?
What I’ve been finding is that it is the rare person who will give you real feedback.
But those few who do, wow!
[note to us all – criticism is not feedback. If we find that we’re justifying being critical as ‘giving feedback’, we really need to hold our comments until we learn to give feedback well. I’ve been there and done this and it can be very damaging. We can test this pretty easily – if the other person is encouraged and has an optimism to move forward – we’ve given feedback. If their face falls, they seem to shrink, or they avoid something because of fear – well, that was criticism.]