something in me yet to be

There comes a time in life when you realize that where you’ve been is not where you need to be.

It often starts out slow. You may feel oddly discontented although on the surface, everyone else would say that you must really be doing well. You feel frustrated by the things that used to excite you. You seem to have it all together on the outside but you have no clue how to describe the turmoil going on inside. You feel like having a melt down in the potato chip aisle.

You think, there must be more. Right? There must be more.

And yet, many people would give a lot to have whatever you have.

And so you walk around with this odd internal tension. Life seems good, but inside you’re searching. Searching for the more.

You begin to disconnect. You go for long walks. You stare at the branches in the wind. Maybe the more is in the branches. Maybe the more is in the wind.

Then you begin to realize, maybe the more is inside you. That’s actually kind of scary to consider so maybe you go back to the branches and the wind. But you can still feel something calling you.

There’s something in you, yet to be.

You realize, there’s a million things you could do. But how do you make the right choice? You’re paralyzed by fear of making the wrong choice. After all, your choices got you where you are today. What if you screw it up again. So you don’t do anything. But you still know that the more is out there somewhere.

People around you wonder what is wrong with you. They ask you – why can’t you focus? Why can’t you figure this out?

You ask yourself – why can’t I focus? Why can’t I figure this out?

You’re an adult. You’re a grown up. You’re responsible.

You should know what to do.

Just do SOMETHING – you scream at yourself

But what? – you whisper back

something in me yet to be blast off girlYou start to find yourself talking to new people. Some of them may also be searching for the more. Some of them seem to have the more. They feel more like your tribe than the people you’ve known for years.

You try x. You test the waters of y. You take a class in z.

You talk more with your new tribe.

You realize you have new language. New words to describe what is going on inside. New words to describe where you might be headed.

You like x. Or y. Or z. And you’re good enough to want to do more. To learn more. To try more. To experience more.

The more begins to take shape. It begins to have substance. It begins to feel real.

You thought that leaving the old behind would be hard. But now, you’ve changed. You can’t go back.

You realize the more is actually your next step.

Again, it is scary. But less scary than going back. And you can’t go back.

So you step into the more.

And start to become the something in you that had yet to be.

maryjoburkhard.com #culturethriving

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>